Opting Out of Motherhood

No, I am not packing my bags and calling it quits as the title suggests. I did want to deposit my two cents, though, about Cythnia McFadden’s interview with Rachael Ray on ABC news last night.I applaud her for standing her ground and not feeling pushed into motherhood because it’s what people expect the next step should be. I really resented McFadden asking her if she feels something’s missing from her childless life. Just because women can give birth doesn’t mean it’s the only thing that provides a level of love, comfort and measure of success —remember this is coming from a mother of two.

So what happened during the rest of the interview, you’re wondering? I remember when I first saw Ray shilling for Dunkin Donuts a few years back, and thought “like she needs the money”. McFadden referenced an Anthony Bourdain MSNBC interview. His words: “She’s hugely influential, particularly with children. And she’s endorsing Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s like endorsing crack for kids.”

The surprising thing? Ray admitted she’d agree with him too without knowing the back story. It turns out D&D is a huge supporter of her charitable organization Yum-O! As a mom, I totally get it—even if it’s a mixed message. Yum-O! is Ray’s way of giving back. Her non-profit is devoted to teaching kids and their families how to have a healthy relationship with food. Yum-O! has scholarship partnerships with the National Restaurant Association Educational Foundation and the Alliance for a Healthier Generation. This is her baby and she decided to do what was in its best interest. As for Bourdain’s comment, it’s up to us parents to filter the messages and teach our kids how to make the right choices.

Whether you love her or hate her, you have to be proud of how Ray held her own in that interview. We all have dreams. Her’s started in an upstate supermarket and turned into a multi-million dollar empire. She admits she’s not a chef, and that her voice is annoying, and so on and so on. Just watch the interview and you’ll see a strong woman, thankful and grateful for the success she worked hard to gain. My girls have permission to use call her a role model (but no, they still can’t have donuts before dinner).

This was an original post to NYC Moms Blog. When Jennifer Perillo isn’t dodging the Dunkin Donuts at the corner of her daughter’s elementary school, she testing recipes for her blogs In Jennies Kitchen and The Mama Chronicles.